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Casual Sparky

Fanfic: John/Elizabeth - No one is flawless

Title: No one is flawless
Author: Kris Russel
Rating: PG
Category: Drama, Angst, Romance
Pairing: John/Elizabeth
Spoilers: none
Summary: “I didn’t pull the trigger but I might as well have.” - “Don’t do this to yourself, Elizabeth.”
Author’s Note: Wrote this a long time ago for a friend of mine. Set in the 3rd season, but not linked to any specif ep.
Disclaimer: Not mine and will never be mine.

It was a clear night above the city of Atlantis and the bright moonlight shone brilliantly over the many spires as the reflection of the ocean played on the metallic surface that covered the city. Normally it was a sight that took Elizabeth’s breath away and that made her stare in awe at the amazing city she lived in. But not today. Today wasn’t a day as any other. Today she merely stood on the small balcony outside of her quarters while she stared at the amazing sight but none of it really made it through to her.

The far away knock on the door of her quarters didn’t register either, nor did the fact that a few seconds later the door opened and one of the best friends she had ever had walked through the door.

“Elizabeth?” John asked carefully as he joined her on the balcony, a clear trace of worry visible on his face.

She didn’t respond or acknowledge him and he knew better than to push her. Instead he simply stood next to her and stared at the amazing view.

It seemed hours later when she finally let out a breath.

“I nearly killed him.” She whispered barely audible.

He kept silent, knowing it wasn’t up to him to deny or confirm anything. Not yet anyway.

“I didn’t pull the trigger but I might as well have.”

“Don’t do this to yourself, Elizabeth.”

She finally turned to him, anger written all over her face. “I made the decision and it was the wrong one.” Her voice rose with nearly every word she said. “Because of me a good and innocent man nearly died!”

“I know.” He simply replied. “But no one blames you.”

“Oh come on. I don’t trust myself anymore, why would anyone else trust me?”

“Because you’re human and humans are not flawless. No one is flawless for that matter. Not even the bloody Replicators are flawless and they’re robots.”

Elizabeth sighed again.

“You can’t tell me you never made a mistake before.” John continued. “If you do, then I have to sincerely doubt if you really are human.”

She gave him a half-hearted glare. “I have made mistakes before. Some… severe.”

“Tell me.”

Her glare grew.

“Come on, ‘Liz’beth. It’ll make you feel better.”

Another sigh escaped her. “Fine. It was in my first year as a diplomat. I was one of the delegates to try and talk two African tribes into peace. They had been waging war for generations and neither even knew why the war had begun in the first place. It should have been fairly easy. It should have been a walk in the park actually. That’s the reason they send me along: an easy case for a newbie negotiator. But I screwed up. Both tribes were very fond of their rituals and habits. I made the wrong move and they saw that as a bad omen. So instead of turning on each other, they teamed up and turned on our small diplomatic party. Two of the soldiers that accompanied us were killed and the rest of us barely made it out alive.”

“And what about the tribes?”

“They’ve lived in an uneasy peace ever since.”

“So something good did come out of it.”

“Besides the fact that I got two soldiers killed. I visited their families you know… told them the truth. The accusing look on their faces will haunt me forever.”

“But you continued on as a diplomat.”

“Yes. My… dad. He convinced me to continue. He had faith in me.”

“I have faith in you, Elizabeth.”

She looked up at him and saw something in his eyes that told her more than his words ever could.

“Everyone in this city has faith in you. No one ever doubted a single decision you made because we all trust you implicitly and what happened today won’t change that. What happened all those years ago won’t change that. Look how much happened since then. You changed from a fumbling geeky negotiator into a strong, breathtakingly beautiful leader of an intergalactic expedition. You seem to effortlessly combine your negotiating skills, diplomatic skills and leadership skills. Every single person in this city respects you for that. They look up to you. Trust you…”

He couldn’t help but brush a stray lock of curly hair behind her ear.

She closed her eyes at the feeling of his fingers barely touching her cheek and resting behind her ear.

“Everyone screws up now and then.” He whispered. “It’s what makes us human. In the worst screw ups, people die. In the best, they don’t. But we all screw something up at times.”

His hand fell back down and she slowly opened her eyes again.

“The problem is that if I make the wrong decision… that when I screw up, the chance that people die is very big.”

He nodded. “We all know that. But that never stopped us from following your orders. And besides… in the three years you’ve been leading this expedition, you screwed up once. I’d say that’s far below the average. Most people screw up at least once a month.”

Her eyebrow rose in amusement. “Once a month? You’re talking from experience, Colonel?”

He gave her a crooked grin. “Hey, I warned you that I’d be nothing but trouble.”

“True.” She smiled.

John was glad to finally see her smile again. He knew she’d be alright now. It had been a though day… hell, it had been a though week. No, make that a though month. Hell… even a though year. They were all under a lot of stress and even someone as strong as Doctor Elizabeth Weir was due to crack under the pressure. Today had been that day and he knew it would take a long time for her to truly forgive herself. But he silently promised himself he’d be there for her and help her trough this.

“You could at least pretend to deny it.” He said as his grin grew.

The playful banter between them took her mind of off the horrors of the last few months and she was immensely glad that he had the ability to make her forget… if only for a few minutes.

“Why would I do that? Especially since you just referred to me as a fumbling geek.”

“Ah, but I also called you breathtakingly beautiful.”

“Yes… there is that.”

John could have sworn she was blushing right now and it made her look adorably cute. He knew they were walking on that fine line of close deep friendship and something more again but he also knew they couldn’t cross it. Not yet. Not now that the IOA would go after her again.

“Let’s watch the stars.” He whispered and she nodded.

They stood side by side on her small balcony, staring up at the stars cluttering the night sky. His arm slowly rose and gently wrapped around her shoulder. She leaned into his embrace and let her arm circle around his waist. John turned his face to her and smelled her unique scent. He tenderly kissed her temple and pulled her closer. She gladly melted into his embrace and she forgot for just a few minutes longer.

The End

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Wow, gah. Nice job. I would've loved to have seen this onscreen. Thank goodness I have a vivid imagination. ;-)
Thanks! And yes, thank heavens for vivid imaginations ;^)